Courting a woman for too long before marriage apparently used to be considered a near occasion of sin by many, and it makes sense.
Building a relationship that includes several hours a week alone together, (chaste) affection, and emotional intimacy with a woman you're attracted to seems to be a remote occasion of sin in and of itself, and needs a weighty enough reason to be done licitly.
If a couple is preparing for marriage, then the reason is present, since no one can be expected to marry a total stranger. But if a couple is dating with no intention of marriage, or if at least one of them is unable/unwilling to marry within a reasonable amount of time, then they are entering into occasions of sin without just reason, and sinning in doing so. Hence, why it is a bad idea for teenagers or those in the early stages of college to be dating, even if they are devout in their faith.
But the question remains as to what a reasonable amount of time is. Personally, I think it should be two years maximum between starting the relationship and being married, perhaps engagement at the halfway point. This way, there is plenty of time to discern with each other, and prevent any common problems that arise from dating for too long.
Three successful relationships from couples I know from my parish went:
Dating: 1 year
Engaged: 1 year
Total Time: 2 years
Dating: 8 months
Engaged: 7 months
Total Time: 15 months
Dating: 4 months
Engaged: 10 months
Total Time: 16 months
What do you guys think?
Building a relationship that includes several hours a week alone together, (chaste) affection, and emotional intimacy with a woman you're attracted to seems to be a remote occasion of sin in and of itself, and needs a weighty enough reason to be done licitly.
If a couple is preparing for marriage, then the reason is present, since no one can be expected to marry a total stranger. But if a couple is dating with no intention of marriage, or if at least one of them is unable/unwilling to marry within a reasonable amount of time, then they are entering into occasions of sin without just reason, and sinning in doing so. Hence, why it is a bad idea for teenagers or those in the early stages of college to be dating, even if they are devout in their faith.
But the question remains as to what a reasonable amount of time is. Personally, I think it should be two years maximum between starting the relationship and being married, perhaps engagement at the halfway point. This way, there is plenty of time to discern with each other, and prevent any common problems that arise from dating for too long.
Three successful relationships from couples I know from my parish went:
Dating: 1 year
Engaged: 1 year
Total Time: 2 years
Dating: 8 months
Engaged: 7 months
Total Time: 15 months
Dating: 4 months
Engaged: 10 months
Total Time: 16 months
What do you guys think?